25 lessons I learned by the time I turned 25 — Part 1

Abhishek Kale
11 min readAug 31, 2017


Being 25 is a stamp. You might still be unaware of that but the tide has shifted.
You might not feel like it, you kind of act like it but the realization is yet to happen.

It’s not a big number either, it’s just a kind of certification which you get without you asking for it and maybe even without working for it. It is the truth and it is real.

You officially have become an adult. A complete undeniably can handle stuff on your own adult. Responsible or not that is the question?

It has been an amazing journey, worth taking, without even asking for it. You were just put into it and you definitely loved it at first sight. All you cared about was the experience, what’s all this about was not in your conscious thought or action.

A big number but a fleeting time, you remember it all and you know that it was a great time. But the question that haunts you now is, “where am I going from here?”

You have learned a lot, I have learned a lot. We all come from rich life experiences, good and bad. We are wiser than we were before, we see what we did and what we agree with now.

Gladly you are conscious and I am conscious now. It’s not a trial, it’s not a job, it’s simply life.

And what we want to do now? We want to live this life to the best of our abilities. We are thinking about it, we are drawing from past experiences, we are trying to make sense.

Let me tell you, this is a glorious time, even though it’s confusing at the moment, this age and number, especially this time of our lives, we can completely turn the tide and direction of our life.

All we have to do is, take responsibility. With all our might, we need to trust in the opportunity of growth and continue in that direction dedicatedly.

We all can learn from each other as well. We all have got something remarkable to share. This is me sharing what I have learned so far, I hope you get value from it. I am writing very earnestly and would expect the same from you. Don’t forget to share your amazing stories

down in the comments. Let’s get the ball rolling.

25 lessons I learned by the time I turned 25

1. Say yes to every opportunity, it doesn’t hurt

Every opportunity is a possibility of growth. Some are great some or not so appealing. But each one of it is an opportunity to add a new interesting chapter to your life. A great story, a lesson

in disguise and something out of the blue which you did not expect.

After I graduated from high school, I had some undone things at school. I had an exceptionally fun and amusing schooling experience. Though at the end of it, I saw some things got left out.

Not that they were of utmost importance or anything but it’s just were things that I wanted to do.

Wanted to add to my amazing personal story. However my hesitance to say YES at deciding moments, took away any possibility of it happening.

Last day of school was the moment I decided, from this point on there will be no if’s and but’s. Only lets get on with this and see what happens. Say Yes! To everything that excites you in the slightest.

Say yes to the desire to act, to participate, to have fun, to try something new and most importantly being in that driver seat all the time. Deciding where I want to go and not being pushed around by my inhibitions or circumstances.

2. Say no to some opportunities they are not final

At the time of crises we must be very cautious of our decisions. We should consider our needs at the moment but if we have the slightest opportunity of overall growth in the long term and if it translates to major sacrifices or risks now, we must go ahead and take them.

It will take heart and courage because needs and necessities wait for no one. They bring you to your knees and they will make you think, this present chance is the only way out. But believe me that isn’t the case.

Think of the opportunity cost, think of life experience cost and think of the bigger picture when making a decision based on the current necessity. Because if saying no to security now and if you are willing to work hard, to make it up to it in the future, then it’s a risk worth taking.

I remember bad job offers, I remember unreasonable clients, I remember people making bad deals sound good, they were good in a sense, if you are a struggling student, then this is your only and best opportunity you can have at the moment.

People who are inclined more towards quantity than the quality. Sometimes monetarily it felt appealing but I knew if I sacrifice my precious time right now, I won’t be able to work on the things that really matter.

At such instances I have said no. I continued working earnestly on whatever that demands my focus best and I see some major life changing opportunity in it in the long term.

New opportunities came when I needed them, at such times I had to use the lesson 1 and by saying no to work which did not serve my purpose, made room for things that mattered.

3. Give things a try it does not hurt

May it be new food, new clothes, new styles, new work, new people, new ideologies, new interests, hobbies and many more such things which make life, lively. By new I simply mean new to you.

Everything is an experience. You are born on earth and not in the box which you so reverently maintain.

I understand you are very opinionated. I understand you have certain values, I understand some of them you use as a guiding principle and there are certain things that which you agree with and certain things which you would always steer clear off.

That’s a fantastic thing, having ideals and values and discipline to guide you around. But once in a while if you are not entangled with something urgent or life threatening or that which does ill to others, then you must try something new and adventurous.

It could also be a really ridiculous thing. Something stupid. Or thought of but unintended off. Like singing on the stage. Just do it. Get that reference experience. Try to see how life works around things, which you don’t go around by often.

It will make you more open and welcoming to new growth inducing experiences in life. Don’t be scared of messing things up, if you did it somehow, it was meant to be, wait for the lesson now.

Learn it. Move on. And be prepared to be uncomfortable again whenever an opportunity to try something new arises.

You are just trying. You are not accepting it. Don’t like it, don’t do it. But be grateful you have learnt something which you would have never encountered otherwise.

I remember I sang on a stage for no reason. I am just a bearable voice trust me. It was fun though. I have made public announcements at places where I wasn’t the host but the Mic landed in my hand. Meeting people at random, asking questions at random, saying yes to events that I would normally

avoid and just doing it for the reference experience nothing else.

Because every time I try something new and I don’t like it. I know what things I don’t want in my life.Every time I do something and I like it, I understand what sort of experiences I am seeking.

It’s just becoming more aware. We know what we want. But scope and clarity will expand with time and effort.

4. Eating right does wonders try it

All my life I have been eating clean. Fresh, whole cooked food, with bare minimum oil and always served hot, instead of helping myself from the refrigerator. It’s always been like that. Also I don’t know

how much of this holds relevancy for you but I am a Vegetarian as well.

I remember back when I was 16 or 17, I engaged myself in an intensive Judo, bodyweight and free-running program. It all started with the basics like the push-ups, pull ups etc. However later on the numbers started mounting, there’s one form of Indian Push-up known as the Suryanamaskar or in short Jor.

Suryanamaskar as a whole is a 12 step routine, however one singular element from it which can be interpreted as the pushp-up is Jor. I used to do 100’s of them, even 200, 300 and 400. Similar numbers for things like crunches, side-sit ups etc. The training was powerful but the diet was extremely weak. It was clean eating but it wasn’t eating right for my needs.

That resulted in severe uncalled for problems, which ultimately affected my overall fitness.

Not until 2014 when recently I came across Bodybuilding.com and other such websites and people that know what they are speaking about in terms of health and nutrition, I started eating right.

Eating right basically means, that your diet should have the adequate amount of nutrients, carbs, that too complex and fat which is unsaturated plus if not the required amount but the necessary amount of protein in your diet.

Not in the form of big meaty burgers loaded with saturated fats and simple carbs but from healthy sources, cooked in a healthy manner, which is aimed at delivering the maximum nutrition.

So the most prominent effect I am feeling from eating right is now. I went off track for a year, yes! A complete year. With great struggle and determination I have come back to my fitness and eating routine. So from fit to unfit and then again towards becoming fit, I have noticed its absolute power and significance. Also the magic.

My body feels stronger, my mood stays better, I am rarely lethargic, inactive tendencies that I garnered over the break seems to be going away on their own. I always feel at ease and very energetic.

I feel great when I eat to nourish my body instead of just feeding its hunger. Speaking of hunger, the hunger is very real now, it’s not just a tickling sensation in the stomach, it’s fiery fire, a fire which is ready to burn and absorb what it’s fed. That’s part exercising as well, but whenever I eat, It’s a satisfactory and fulfilling experience.

Food feels like a blessing and a power. You must try this to actually know or understand what I am saying.

When you experience that feeling you will never want to go back and even if you go back like I did, you will strive to come back to the ways of eating right.

Simply eating right, enables you to do some really amazing things.

5. Avoid your anger and you nullify the cause

I am not saying control your anger. I am not saying don’t get angry, I am saying just avoid your anger completely.

I have tried justifying my anger, I have tried making some sense out of it and sometimes I thought it’s because my authenticity or righteousness has been challenged for no apparent reason I got angry.

It might be true, the anger in a logical sense might make some sense and also sometimes it happened because of self-righteousness.

But never ever was I ever satisfied with its outcome. The outcome has always spoilt my mood. I rarely get angry but after a few bouts of it, I started controlling what little or whenever anger came my way.

Sometimes it did slip through, at times when I thought, I have a right to be angry at this moment.

Even after that, even after it was the anger at the right instance, it still did not feel satisfactory. It always felt like a mishap. It always felt like I am burdening myself and it also felt like doing or saying things that I will normally not engage with.

I always saw the after effect on me and others who were involved in that moment of anger. It always left everything more unsettled than settled.

So I took upon myself to think soundly about it and came up with a solution, which at least allows me to be at peace with myself and not do any more damage than what has been already done.

Whatever the situation might be, simply just listen. Even keep your facial expressions relaxed, don’t smile okay? It will just piss the other person off even more, just maintain a neutral demeanor about yourself.

Listen carefully, nod when necessary and try to understand what’s really going on.

Sometimes just say “alright, I will make sure this thing happens correctly.” Or “I understand what you are saying.” You don’t have to react or justify anything, simply let the moment pass.

It might solve the problem it might not. It will redeem your honor it might not. The point is not in setting things right. But the major intention is to subdue the effect of anger coming from anywhere.

Be calm and respond calmly, never react. No matter how much you feel like, that this is the moment to set the tone right for that situation, don’t. It will not clarify anything, it will just create more misunderstanding.

Believe me I am saying it after a lot of experience. In an angry situation everyone is focused on their problem and the wrong which has been done to them, no one wants to figure out the logic or solution, it’s just about making you understand how much you have wronged them or disturbed their position.

So the best path to take is to simply avoid it. Act like it’s not there, act like it’s not boiling up inside you and after a while completely forget, if it ever occurred to you.

You will have a lot less problems, better peace of mind and always a sense of stability, when you successfully master this. I am still practicing but I am better than I was yesterday, no matter what’s going on inside me, I make sure, I keep my voice calm and soft and listen attentively what the other has to say.

You can even try to humor the situation if that’s possible and applicable. Keep your judgment sound.


I originally intended to fit all my 25 lessons in a single post and not bother you as much with too much reading. However when I started writing it, I quickly noticed, I have to write more, if I want to explain and convey it clearly.

I am sorry but I could not figure out any other better way either. So if you have any suggestions do let me know in the comments and Yes! Of course also if you found this 5 lessons worth knowing and useful?

Stay tuned for the other 4 or 5 parts mostly of this post, I am not sure how many parts it’s going to take but I assure you I will try my best to deliver as briefly as possible.

Fun fact: The pictures of me will progress by age and remaining lessons. The one
used as the main image here is from the time when I was about 19.

Also I turned 25 on the 28th.

Originally published at soulomotivation.com on August 31, 2017.



Abhishek Kale

The world is your playground if you keep an open mind and seek. At soulo, we seek sound from the noise of world wisdom. Start seeking — → soulomotivation.com