The last few years have been a challenging time for me. I am an optimist and a passionate person.
I am lead and driven by my dreams. I minimally focus on the negative and take every setback as an opportunity to grow further. I see it as a learning curve and derive lifelong lessons from my problems at the moment.
Considering that, I indeed have been focusing on the silver lining of the dark clouds in my life. On a personal note, I actually do enjoy and cherish the “Real dark clouds” the one’s that thunder and pour heavy rain. More than the sunshine I look forward to monsoon every year.
In retrospect you can say that I definitely am heavily inclined towards seeing the good.
However, in my recent observations, due to enlightening moments and difficult experiences in life, I noticed that negativity has some tremendous power of sipping into your life even if you are a dedicated optimist.
It is so cunning and cat like that you won’t even notice it entering your home.
Home, meaning, your body and soul.
Positivity has a tremendous power to propel you in the direction of meeting your dreams. It’s a catalyst. Each day it will make you want to do more, be more and live more.
On the other hand, negativity has a tendency of dragging you down, pulling you back and holding you there.
The inertia associated with it is quite heavy.
Whereas, positivity has a tendency of making you feel lighter. It really makes you believe that you too can fly.
With respect to that, in our daily lives, we should always try to amplify the positive and nullify the negative. Making “positivity louder” as I heard in one of the Gary Vanynerchuck videos.
Pertaining to all sorts of challenging days I have faced so far and the negativity which came close to dragging me down, I made a conscious decision of only entertaining the positive in life.
This days I deliberately try to focus only on the positive in my life. Because mulling over your problems or feeling uninspired by non constructive criticism only hampers your growth in life and nothing else.
A small part of it is getting rid of the negative people in your life. If it’s someone close to you then maybe giving a deaf ear to what they say and a blind eye to what they do, because if we spend our precious energy on that, we are not only ridding ourselves of joy but also the will to endure.
Some people are full of heavy inertia. It’s pulling them down and it will bog you down too. We all have had shit days but they just cannot move on. All they see is problems and anyone offering a solution becomes the victim of their negative discharge.
You try helping them and they will make you feel helpless along with them.
If you initiate something positive and are trying your best to stick by it, they will come around and criticize you into giving it up.
They are addicted to their negativity. Their negative tendencies are so heavy that they derive their kick from all sorts of negative states and substances.
But hey! don’t loathe them but be empathetic. They are fighting a battle which they are not even aware about. If you can help with detachment fine, if not then its time to move away from their opinion in your life.
I myself have strictly started informing the people around me about the positive boundaries in my life. If you cross them, I will cross you out. Period.
Now, not every situation demands such an aggressive tone but you got the idea right? if not, then we can continue this discussion in the comments.
Here are 10 ways to spot such negative and redundant naysayers in your life
- For every solution you offer they have a problem to probe. Which simply means that they don’t want to either work for it or participate in it in any form.
- They themselves will never come up with a solution but will have all the problems with your version. All they are really doing is avoiding responsibility in any form.
- They will have too many clauses to fulfill to be ready to participate in your plan. You will burn yourself out but they will never reach a satisfactory agreement.
- They focus on what they don’t have instead of working with what they have.
- They will constantly challenge your world view and will team up on you with people who have the same opinions. Which simply means that your world view challenges theirs and instead of breaking out, they want you to succumb to their way of living.
- They will constantly question all your choices in life and will dodge accountability about their choices. They will dodge it in the form of accusing you of something worse, insults and random outbursts of anger or mockery.
- They will be a sponge for your excitement instead of being an amplifier. Just when you come up with an exciting plan or a news to share or a great idea to tell, they will make sure that you doubt all of it even before it begins and act in a way which completely absorbs your energy and leaves you feeling empty.
- You will never hear any words of appreciation from them. They are quick to acknowledge your shortcomings but will never say anything good. Sometimes they might say something good but merely in a word or two. When they are criticizing, they have a thesis to share.
- They will constantly try to make you feel that you don’t understand anything. They will speak to you or ask you about something and if you ask what’s it all about, they will respond “leave it, you won’t understand.” Whereas in reality they are speaking completely out of the context and clearly know that you have no idea about it.
- They will never inquire about your situation in life but will constantly judge you about your choices. They will also try to blame you for all the problems in your life. Even if you take responsibility, no human in this world is entirely responsible for everything bad that happens to them.
Spot such people, avoid them and let go of them.
Such people will undermine everything about you.
Even if you are strong headed, in certain situations in life all this negative feedback will get to you somehow.
Everything you hear, see or do affects and gets stored in your subconscious and by the right triggers it can come to surface.
Who knows you might already be acting out of the insecurity planted by someone else. You might be scared because of the fear ingrained by someone else and depressed because you are subconsciously wearing the glasses summoned by someone else.
Someone acting out of their comfort zone will only see faults in your way of life. That does not mean that you are doing something wrong.
Maintaining some distance will allow you to focus on the good in your life and the good about you.
Feeling good helps us be enthusiastic about life. When you are enthusiastic you are excited and when you are run by excitement you will have the energy to fly.
Our entire system stays in a state of flow and well being.
What you focus on grows. What you neglect diminishes.
Simple example, When you focus on your health it grows and when you neglect, it diminishes.
Focus on the good, learn from the bad but avoid the negative and work hard. That’s all there is to success.