You know what’s the problem with self-development? Sometimes it makes you feel responsible for everything.
Generally that’s a good thing, you should indeed accept responsibility for your actions. Sub-consciously though, when you are trying to develop yourself and your life everyday, you get very nit picky and eventually programmed to assume great responsibility for things way out of your practical control.
One wrong move and you will be fretting throughout the day about it.Your less than stellar performance on the stage of life.
Our expectations from ourselves, surpass what we can achieve humanely in a short amount of time.
Checkout this snippet from an article by James Clear, where he speaks about How long does it really take to form a habit (Backed my science)
It’s a great thing to have high expectations from yourself, they help you be bolder and makes you want to do better in general but as you see above, some expectations cannot be fulfilled until the time is right.
Think of right time as the amount of time it takes for a fruit to become ripe. Its predetermined and apart from its own system, a lot of external factors contribute to the ripening or decay of the fruit by the time it reaches your plate.
Self-development therefore is kind of a paradox. It can help you overcome your limitations and it can also make you feel not up to the mark at times.
Eventually when you find yourself not up to the mark for a very long time, you will start questioning your ability, effort and understanding.
Doubt, disinterest, fear, anxiety and procrastination slowly starts replacing the positive qualities you have been working hard to develop.
So at such a time, a balance between self-development and self-acceptance needs to be struck. Once that balance is met you will be excited about the new dimensions which have opened up for you.
In this post, I will try to help you find your balance. So let us begin.
Get some time to think and think about the right things
When I find myself stuck between wanting to have a good time and needing to work, I think about what will give me the most joy after an hour or two later.
When you are divided like that, Be certain that you are not going to enjoy your leisure as much.
I find time to diagnose my life and try to understand why I am doing something or why I am not doing something.
When I have a somewhat clear picture, I consciously make myself do certain things with some force and a lot of will power.
Your will power is fueled by your understanding. Upgrade your understanding and you upgrade your powerhouse.
It’s a whole thought process.
Meanwhile analyze this things in your life:
- Think about the pace of your life. Is it too fast? If yes then slow it down. Think about that one important thing in your life right now and first focus all your energy on it. THE LAW OF THE VITAL FEW STATES THAT, FOR MANY EVENTS, ROUGHLY 80% OF THE EFFECTS COME FROM 20% OF THE CAUSES.
- Also do you find your work meaningful?
- What gets you excited?
So by finding this things out, you you can either solve a really big problem or work on an effective solution. It takes some level of focus and discipline to do this but if you are thinking about change then you might as well commit to it.
Without excitement, even if you are successful, then there is nothing to look forward to. Find some place for exploration and dive into knowing the world. It’s interesting trust me.
Next De-clutter your mind
By now you have understood how to figure out whats going on with you and what to do about it.
The next step involves stimulating the mind to mostly hold beneficial thoughts.
Everything you think about, you don’t have to. Of all the thoughts that we get only a number of them are worth our time.
I can name a few things you can do to bring about a harmony in your thoughts.
- Every moment of the day try bringing your mind back to the work at hand. You will notice yourself going back and forth through your usual thought cycle but just center yourself again and remind yourself what’s important.
- Indulge in fantasy but only to the point where you feel great and can work with focus effortlessly.
- Secondly replace negative thoughts with positive ones. A thoughtless state can only be achieved by the highest form of Yogis. Meanwhile, we the common humans can think productively if not completely stop thinking.
- Saturate your mind with quality literature. Whatever you watch throughout the day on the internet is entering your mind. It’s shaping you in a way you don’t fully comprehend. Be qualitative in terms of your enjoyment and consumption. Both in terms of food and food for thought.
- Even if you are learning something, learn only till the point where you can practically start applying something. Too much of theory but no practical creates more doubt and procrastination.
- Start doing Pranayama.
Whenever in life when you don’t feel like doing anything, understand that there are a lot of factors affecting you. It could be physical, in terms of health, fitness and nutrition. It could also be an inner conflict which needs to be resolved. A doubtful mind is often found avoiding work.
Things could be emotional and psychological too.
I always try to remind you, that we are a living being, a living organism. Nothing about us is definite. We need to bust our-self as much as we need to care for our-self.
It’s a fine balance. One you can acquire by slowing down the pace of your life and making time to think about it.